In Virginia today a bell tolled 32 times. 32 white balloons were let
fly like so many spirits bound for eternal salvation. A solemn
ceremony and a fitting sentiment, staged as the liminal turning point
for the tens of thousands affected that must now to continue with
their lives. Except that thirty-three people died that day –
thirty-three members of the Virginia Tech community were lost.
Thirty-three families are now left with an open wound in the shape of
a lost loved one.

By not sending a thirty-third white balloon to the heavens we have
denied Seung-hui Cho his humanity. And why not? It is far easier, and
far more comfortable to blame this terrible event on some supernatural
force, a Freddy Krueger or a Jason or an Osama bin Laden. So by not
ringing that bell one more time we have protected ourselves, turned
Seung-hui Cho into a demon we must save our children from, an
abberation to support passing stricter gun laws, and a reason to fear
mental illness.

How much more difficult it would be to face the reality that a human
being did these acts, how truly frightening to admit that he was one
of us. That a monster killed 32 students and faculty is a senseless
massacre; but that a confused youth was so lonely and alienated and
without guidance that he killed thirty-two of his peers before killing
himself is a human tragedy.

It is telling that, in his final words, Seung-hui Cho expressed
solidarity with the shooters of Columbine. We cannot continue to
dismiss this growing social sickness as randomness, voodoo or black
magic. We cannot continue to dehumanize the first among us to catch
ill by labelling them psychopaths and terrorists. Something is wrong,
and like it or not, we’re all involved. So like it or not, it is upon
all of us to affect change, to be better friends, better neighbors,
and better parents. Like it or not it is upon us to question our
values for these are the values we teach our children. For it is not
just from their parents but also from their peers that children learn
to love and to hate.

By mourning only 32 we say that only 32 died. What’s worse, we say
that we’re not responsible. These are our children, not just your
children or his children or my children, but our children. It is time
we took responsibility for them together, or like it or not, 33 won’t
be a record for long.